Somebody, or something, has been trying to get to me lately. I get up in the morning and immediately feel down in the dumps. After I get to work and get my mind off my own problems, then I’m better for a while, but then I start thinking about a problem in my life, and it starts to grip me again.
It’s depression, of course. I deal with it every once in a while. I think I always have, but lately it has been grabbing hold of me worse than ever before in my lifetime. My own work situation, my wife’s work situation, my youngest daughter’s school problems, our second daughter’s work and living situation, along with dealing with my wife’s reaction to all of these, and it gets a grip on my neck and drags me down. If it wasn’t for my faith I would probably be suicidal.
Through my life I have learned ways to deal with my depression. It’s not by drugs, but through prayer and Bible reading, as well as through work and getting my problems off my mind.
But just trying to forget problems doesn’t make them go away. I’ve had to learn to put them in the Lord’s hands and let Him do what I can’t do with them. A verse that has hit me real hard in the last week or so has been Proverbs 3:5-6
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Trust in the Lord and do not lean on your own understanding. Powerful! I have to realize that the way I understand the problems is not necessarily correct, and the the Lord knows much more than I do. He knows perfectly all about my problems, what is causing them, and what is the way to fix them and how to deal with them. I have to let go of them, stop trying to fix them all myself, and let Him do it.
Another saying I have often used when I get depressed is the one that says, “This too shall pass.” Nothing is permanent in this old world. Sure I have bad times, but they eventually pass. The good times aren’t permanent, either. So I have to lay hold of what is permanent: the Lord and His Kingdom.
I was feeling pretty low this morning, and then I started thinking about writing this entry. I thought about the title, personalizing it instead of just making my depression an abstract concept. It’s like I began resisting a being that has been doing this to me, and he loosened his grip and fled. I know my problems are still there, just as real, but I’m not depressed about them right now. I’m feeling pretty good about it all, as a matter of fact.
I will keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…
I think I’m gonna be all right.